I'm so pleased to have had the chance to interview Pauline Allan, author of the hot novel "See Me."
Read on to learn her inspiration, likes, and a sizzling excerpt of "See Me!"
Thanks for joining me, Pauline!
Hi
Rosanna! I'm so excited to chat with you today. Thanks for having me.
What was your
inspiration for "See Me"?
I
have to be honest here. My inspiration was Hot! Hot! Hot! I was researching
male adult websites for a Male/Male erotic romance I was plotting. Really,
promise. I was simply looking at the studs for research. *winks* I happened
across this one performer that just knocked my socks off. I thought to myself,
okay...he's gorgeous (that's a given), he's funny, had a great smile, chocolate
brown eyes, and was well, let's say he wasn't shy about his god-given assets. I
wondered why a guy like that was working in porn. Where did he grow up? Did he
have a "day job"? Was he in a relationship or did he keep himself so
guarded he had to stay single? So, the research hound in me went into overdrive
and I contacted the hottie with the arresting smile. Come to find out he was
single, straight, and trying to pay for college. Who would've guessed! He was
patient answering all of my very personal questions and even let me indulge in
a little fantasy role playing. He was
kind and very bright. So that was the premise for Fantasy Emporium. I have also
always wanted to start an online adult site for women, but never had the nerve
to pursue it. So, this book gave me that creative outlet. Sean's character was
inspired by my love of the mixed martial art sport. I was in New Orleans two
years ago and met a very nice young man named Jonathan. He was a waiter going
to college. We struck up a conversation about MMA and bam! Sean was born.
Abigail is a manifestation of one of my multiple personalities. The violence
that occurs against her was inspired by a song written by Tori Amos called Me
and a Gun. So, that's the journey of See Me. Part naughty porn boy and part
gut-retching emotional torment. But I do love a good happily ever after, so it
all works out in the end.
"See
Me" is a contemporary work. What other genres do you enjoy writing?
I
also write Paranormal, BDSM, LGBT. I have one historical that I've completed,
but that's not my favorite genre to write. All of my books carry the same
Rubenesque theme for my heroines.
When you decided
to write, what is the first thing you remember writing? Or has romance always
been your aim?
The
very first novella I completed was in my teens. I was a huge fan of Koontz,
King, and Poe. So, naturally I gravitated toward the horror/paranormal genre. It
was a story about a girl who was a psychic sensitive and her mother took her to
see a friend who'd lost a daughter. Come to find out the daughter was this evil
spirit that they thought possessed the psychic girl. Wait for it...wait for
it... The psychic daughter was actually the long lost twin of the missing girl.
They exchanged souls when the girl went missing. Blah...blah...blah... Long
story short, the girl gets her soul back and the missing girl goes insane. I
thought it was definitely a sure-fire best seller at the time. Lol.
What is your
favorite book of all time and why?
Oh,
Rosanna, great question. The Story of O was a book that changed my life. I was
eighteen years old, just started college, had my whole life ahead of me when I
stumbled upon the little white book with the simple black letters on the cover.
I was in an antique shop and found it on a dusty shelf. After reading the book
I researched everything I could get my hands on about Anne Desclos who wrote
under the name Pauline Reage. It intrigued me about the BDSM lifestyle and my
life has never been the same since.
If you could
have a romantic evening with any character from romance literature, who would
it be and what would you do?
John
Matthew from the JR Ward Black Dagger Brotherhood series. He's deaf and hot as
sin. I've loved him from day one of the series. No seriously, I'm in freaking
love with this big vamp! I would want to curl up in his bed in the compound and
watch a movie. We could snuggle and he could bite me because I'd be his shellan (mate). We'd kiss and he'd look
down at me with those puppy dog eyes. I'd slip my finger over his forehead to
move a loose strand of that black hair...um, okay, I'd better stop now.
What was the
first thing you did when you discovered you would be published?
I
was at work when I got the email. I re-read the damn thing a zillion times,
then had one of the other nurses read it too. I was like, "Does that say
what I think it does?" After three people confirmed that the attachment
was in fact a contract I cried, laughed, cried some more, then panicked. I work
nights, so I had to wait until the morning to call my husband and family. It
was a great feeling.
Does your daily
life enter into your plots/characters, or do you work form a blank slate?
I've
had a very interesting life so far. I draw many of the emotional aspects of my
character arcs from my life experiences, but that being said, I like to write
plots from a blank slate. I like the open possibilities of things to come. I
want to write about places I only dream about going to and situations that I
only dare to think possible.
What are you
working on now?
I'm
submitting book two to Loose Id next month called Desert Seduction. It's a contemporary
erotic romance about a woman who travels to the Middle East and is kidnapped.
Her sexy hero is from Dubai. He's a dark, brooding hero with a five-o'clock
shadow that'll make you melt. I also have a paranormal ready for editing that
is the beginning of a series, and a BDSM set in the South that's being
formatted for submission.
Aside from
writing, what do you enjoy doing?
I
love music. I spend every non-writing, working, family moment on downloading
new music. I also like to read. There's nothing better than a hot bubble bath,
a icy mango daiquiri, and a spicy new book.
As
the song says, these are a few of my favorite things:
Favorite TV Show: Mad Men
Favorite Author: Edgar Allan Poe
Favorite Dessert: Cheesecake
Favorite Guilty Pleasure: Rolo candies
Quick
Tidbits:
If I were a reality TV show character,
I’d be…a forensic detective on 48 Hours.
I would see any movie starring…Daniel
Craig
If I could pick any actor to play the
leading man in my book, it would be…This is a hard one, but I'm going with Hugh
Jackman
If I had to live without either kisses
or hugs, I`d go without…hugs
My best physical feature is….my brain
If I could live as any paranormal
creature, it would be a….okay, this one is a toss-up. I really want to shift
into a white wolf, but I'm really torn because I want to be a Fae too. So, I'm
going to have to say a fairy wolf.
My biggest fear is…disappointing my
loved ones.
You have a day all to yourself. I would spend it…walking the streets of New
Orleans, taking in the sun, sitting at Cafe Du Monde with a cup of joe and a
stack of beignets.
Contact
Information for Pauline:
Website: http://www.paulineallan.com
Facebook author page: http://www.facebook.com/author.paulineallan
Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/paulineallan
See
Me can be downloaded from:
Blurb:
Abigail
Swanson’s spirit has been battered, a body left for dead to recover to find
fear and loneliness. Due to an abusive relationship, she is unable to feel the
one thing she longs to have again. She builds a lucrative business specializing
in the commodity she can’t afford to experience. Passion.
Sean Drennan traded his fists for a
portfolio, but the cost was too great. Now, considered damaged goods, he’s
unable to find employment. Desperate to gather some quick cash, he reluctantly
agrees to take a job in the field guaranteed to make him sell his soul.
So what does a successful pornography
entrepreneur do when her clients are demanding a tattooed hunk and her
performers don’t fit the bill? She puts all her trust in an ex-con who has
nothing to lose. Can he save her business and her heart at the same time or
will his fighting ways leave him cold and lonely yet again?
For one voluptuous, scared woman it’s
love at all costs. For one man it’s a new experience he’s more than willing to
fight his way into. But can Sean and Abigail survive the dangerous ride?
Excerpt:
“Abigail
Swanson, this is Sean Drennan.”
Ron
introduced him like it was a legitimate interview, like he wasn’t standing
there in the spacious office applying for a job in porn. It felt weird.
“He’s
finished the application. We’ll do the rest after he’s done with you.”
Sean
extended his hand and was quickly greeted with a sweet smile. An innocent,
full pair of lips parted to reveal white teeth beneath. Had he ever seen a
sweeter smile? Not one focused in my direction.
She
took his hand into her soft grip. “Mr. Drennan, it’s nice to finally meet
you. Ron has told me a lot about you.”
He
has? Like what, the size of my dick or how many reps I can do on the trap
bar?
He
knew his hand lingered too long, but God, she was fucking with his head.
Abigail Swanson was supposed to be a porno filmmaker, one of those dirty
women wearing black latex and carrying a riding crop. A Jenna Jameson or
Heidi Fleiss.
The
woman standing behind the metal desk was no Jenna and definitely no Heidi.
She was apple pie and pompoms. She was the girl who wouldn’t have given him
the time of day in high school. She’s a sly-look-and-run-away, just like
the woman in the café. Only ten times hotter.
The
long auburn waves hung past her shoulders, and that shirt… Betty Boop,
really? And jeans? He wasn’t complaining. They hugged her full curves.
He’d been so used to the gym girls he’d forgotten what real women looked
like. They looked like Abigail Swanson. Think, dumbass! “Sorry I’m
late, Ms. Swanson.” He let her soft skin slide across his palm as she
released his hand. The loss was instant.
“It’s
all right. The rain was coming down pretty hard. I’m sure the drive took a
while. Please.” She motioned to the wingback chair in front of the desk.
“Have a seat.”
Sean
swiped his gaze over the room. It was decorated like the lobby, only more
spacious… and with more plants. He wanted to smile. The air carried a hint of
something spicy, exotic. Incense, he concluded when he glanced over to see
the ceramic Buddha holding the thin stick. Filmy curls of smoke waved up only
to disappear. It was massage-parlor-meets-boardroom.
Ron
handed her his application. “I can fax a résumé over.” They both stared at
him as if he’d spoken Vulcan. “I mean, if you want it.”
Ron
grinned. “And what kind of qualifications would we find on that resume,
Sean?”
The
guy was fucking with him. He felt like an ass. Of course they didn’t want to
hear about his internships and degree qualifications. There was only one
requirement for this job, and it sure as hell wasn’t listed under the
achievement section on his résumé.
“Right.”
Sean decided to shut his mouth and stick to just answering their questions.
“Ron,
could you shut the door on your way out?” Abigail’s expression was neutral as
she continued to flip through the pages of his application.
“Sure
you don’t want any coffee?” Ron asked.
Sean
readjusted in the seat. The chair felt too small. “No, thanks.”
Ron
left, leaving behind a room full of silence. Sean waited for her to read
through the application and drop the bomb that he’d heard so many times
before.
“I
see you left the fetishes section blank.” She finally looked up at him. Her
gaze flitted to the computer screen, then back again. “Is there a reason
why?”
Sean
wanted to swallow his tongue. That section was on the next-to-last page. That
meant she’d already read his answer to the have you ever been in jail
question. He’d been incarcerated, and she chose to ask him about his lack of
fetishes? He didn’t know what to say. He decided to treat the conversation
like one of the million other interviews he’d been on over the last year.
“I
don’t have any fetishes, but I’m open to new experiences.” Good answer.
“I
see. So you don’t prefer blondes to brunettes. How about voyeurism to
exhibitionism?”
What
to what?
“I like to watch women swim in the nude. Does that count?”
He
didn’t smile until she did. Her lips parted like a blossoming rose.
“Of
course watching women swim naked would count. It’s rather vanilla, but it
counts just as much as a man who enjoys watching a woman smoke a cigar. It’s
all relevant to the one with the fantasy. Do you have a preference for skinny
women or full-figured women?”
“Men
like that, watching women smoke cigars? I have a preference, I guess, but it
wouldn’t interfere with me performing my job.”
By
the way she ignored his answer, she didn’t seem too happy with his response.
“Sure, men and women like a lot of things, even smoking cigars. We’re here to
provide a visual experience of their fantasies. Has Ron filled you in on what
Fantasy Emporium really is?”
Sean
thought about it. No, he hadn’t. All Ron had said was that he had what the
company was looking for, and he could make some fast cash doing porn films.
He didn’t want to sound like he hadn’t done his research, but he hadn’t done
his research. “Yeah. Yes. He told me the company makes pornographic films.”
By
the way she lifted her eyebrows, he knew she’d caught him bullshitting. “Come
here.” Sean leaned against the edge of the desk as she turned the computer
screen so he could see it. Her nimble fingers flew over the keys. Her
fingernails weren’t the ones with the white tips. All the women who talked to
him had fake fingernails, fake tans, and fake tits too. The chipped pink nail
polish made his stomach do something weird.
“This,
Mr. Drennan, is Fantasy Emporium.”
Sean
pulled his attention to the computer. The lavish colors flowed across the
screen. The tabs were gold-colored with intricate scrollwork laced throughout
the page.
“It’s
a Web site designed for custom pornography. See here?” She moved the cursor
over the sign in tab. “First, the client must create an account. After
that, they can go to the site and simply sign in and begin their adventure.
Everything is kept confidential. They pay with a PayPal account or credit
card. The information is secure. My clients can order with the utmost
discretion. We have many clients from all over the world.”
He
was kicking himself in the ass for not checking out the Web site sooner. The
decision to take Ron up on his offer was last minute. He’d gotten the bill
for his tuition and made a rash decision. His bank account was almost in the
negative, and the tank in his truck was on E. Either he could put gas in the
truck to get to the rec center to meet with the guys, or he could eat for the
next few days. The tank was now half full, and he drank the last of the milk
with the last of the cereal this morning. He hadn’t even thought about
checking out the Web site. Just chalk it up to another one of his bonehead
moves.
“Okay.”
What else was he supposed to say?
Her
eyes shot up. “Okay? It’s more than okay.”
So
was the color of her eyes. Blue. Not just any blue, but blue like a summer
sky. He gave her a sharp nod. She filled in the two slender boxes, and the
screen changed. “They can click here to see the cast, or performers, as we
call them. Those are the men and women who the client can choose from to star
in their videos. The price of the video goes up with each additional
performer they pick. Like, here.” She moved the curser over cast and
clicked the black mouse.
A
new screen popped up. The couple on the business card Ron had given him was
on the screen. One side was labeled women and the other men.
She slid the mouse, and over a dozen pictures popped up. The women were
diverse. Every type of woman was represented right there for the clients to
choose from.
“I
appreciate that you’ll be able to perform no matter what your preference is,
but it makes for a hotter scene if you connect with someone you’re attracted
to. So what is your preference?” She asked the question like she wanted to
know if he wanted white or wheat.
“Um,
I’m not sure if I want to answer that.” You. What the fuck?
“Well,
you’d be expected to be with all kinds of women.” She started to pick at the
chipped pink fingernail polish. “Or men.”
Hell
to the no!
“Wait, Ron didn’t say anything about—”
“Calm
down, Mr. Drennan. You can turn down any request. If you don’t prefer to be
with men, then you simply say no. I will tell you that each job pays
the same. Couple sex, I mean, whether you’re with one woman or one man.
There’s no higher price for same-sex arrangements. The big bucks come in for
group scenes and anal.”
God,
was this woman real? She spoke filth with the ease of the businessmen he’d
interviewed with. Tax credits versus anal sex. Capital investment versus a
blowjob. Abigail Swanson was a businesswoman, plain and simple.
“If
we come to an arrangement and you sign a contract with us, I’d like for you
to familiarize yourself with the site. You can set up an account. We offer a
thirty percent discount to employees.” Sean wanted to laugh but thought
better of it. She looked so serious. “There’s a section for toys and
supplies. Some of our clients like to order accessories to go along with
their videos.”
He
leaned back into the chair. “Okay.”
“Now,
I see here you…” She flipped through a couple of the pages. Here it comes.
The question. Get ready, dickhead, to explain yourself right out of the job
again. She continued without looking up from his application. “You listed
one of your hobbies as working out.”
Her
bright gaze tilted just slightly to take him in. There it was—the familiar
look. This woman was no different from the others. He had to give her credit.
It had taken her longer than most to give his body the once-over.
“Yeah,
I work out about four or five times a week.”
“Uh-huh,
and you checked the single box?”
Now
she looked at him full-on. “Yes.”
Blink,
blink. The dark crescents of her lashes almost reached her pale cheeks. Well,
her now blushing cheeks. He might have become a hardened asshole at a young
age, but he wasn’t heartless. Not yet anyway. She was embarrassed and so
fucking cute. The woman sitting on the other side of the desk might as well
have been sitting on the other side of the world. She was way out of his
league.
“Do
you have any questions for me?”
Was
she serious? “What kind of things will I be expected to do? How much money
will I get paid? Will my picture be on the Web site like the others? How do I
get chosen to do a video?”
She
started to fiddle with the edge of the paper. Her once confident stare
shifted back to the computer screen, then to some far-off point behind him.
“Um,
you’ll only have to take part in the things you’re comfortable with. Your
income from each video will range from $500 to $2,000 depending on the scene.
And, yes, you will have your picture on the Web site with a small profile of
information, your likes and hobbies. Things like that. It makes the client
feel like you’re his or her personal actor. They like that.”
Sean
sighed. God, the money sounded great.
The
sound of Abigail clearing her throat made him look up, “If you’d like, Ron
can give you a tour and show you how it works. The interview actually
progresses. You were honest on your application, and I appreciated how you
tried your best to answer all the questions. I know some of them are a bit
out there. Most of the people who come in here put down some interesting
answers, but yours seem genuine. So you passed the application section.
That’s the first part of the interview process. Since you passed the first
part, you get to go on the tour. Then, well…we’ll discuss that part when we
get to it.”
“I
passed the first part?”
“You
sound surprised.” The blush skating across her cheeks glowed like hot embers.
Pretty. “Yes, you passed this part of the interview.” She scooted the
chair back and walked around the desk.
What
did he have to lose? He stood up. “Can I ask you another question?”
She
stopped beside him. Sean noticed her cute bright red toenails. The faded
jeans fit her snugly in all the right places. Thick thighs, slightly rounded
belly. God, he could fall asleep next to that. Whose fucking head are you
in? Get your shit together, Drennan!
“Sure,”
she said.
“What
do most people ask for? I mean, what kind of videos?”
He
followed her to the doorway. “Honestly, not as much sex as you’d think.
Mostly, they want to see intimacy on the screen. They want that part of the
fantasy they lack at home, a glance, that first conversation, the magical
moment just before a kiss.”
“Is
it mostly women who order that sort of thing?”
Her
soft laugh was a soothing massage over his muscles. “Some, but not all. You
won’t know who you’re performing for. That information is kept confidential.
But, rest assured, when you see your paycheck, you won’t care if you’re
acting for the president or a waitress.” She leaned her hip against a tall
file cabinet. The gesture emphasized the dip in her waist. “Can I ask you a
question?”
He
fought the urge to cross his arms over his chest. “Yes.”
“What’s
an ex-con doing with a business degree?”
She
was to the point. He admired that. The others skated around it like it was
cancer, asking about it like it was an apology for the test results. “I got
my degree while I was incarcerated. The prison had an outreach program, and I
qualified. I had a high school diploma when I went in.”
“And
what were you in for?”
He
noticed she didn’t step back, didn’t make that slight shuffle of her feet to
politely get away from him. She kept her eyes focused on his face. No
nonsense. “Fighting. I was involved in illegal fighting and got caught.” Half-truth.
She
stuffed her hands in the front pockets of her jeans. The movement pressed her
ample breasts together. Were her nipples small and pink or fat and dusky?
God, he wanted to find out. It was his turn to shift his stance. Shit, she
was sexy and didn’t even know it.
“I
didn’t know fighting was illegal.”
“Yeah,
the kind of fighting I did is, and I did it for money.” Truth.
“Thank
you for your honesty.”
Now
he felt like shit. A few months; I can handle anything for a few months.
Fuck, I fought my way through hell for five years. I can do two months of
this.
“So
do you shoot all the scenes here?” He tried to steady his voice as he
followed Abigail Swanson, unlikely pornography queen, out of her office.
ABIGAIL
FELT LIKE her big ass had one of those truck horns attached to it. The moment
she decided to step backward, the familiar beep…beep…beep would sound
off. Why couldn’t he walk beside her down the hallway? She looked over her
shoulder. Yep, Sean Drennan was still there. All tight white dress shirt and
perfectly bulging slacks quietly followed behind her sashaying ass.
His
beautifully full lips tilted at one corner. Damn if he wasn’t the most
luscious thing she’d ever laid eyes on. She’d interviewed quite a few
great-looking guys, but none revved her engine like Mr. Drennan. She’d
noticed the black ink Ron had been talking about. He’d worn a long-sleeve
dress shirt rolled up at the cuffs, just enough to reveal the tips of the
dark marks on his forearm. She couldn’t wait to see the rest of the tattoo.
She
wasn’t surprised to find that he’d been in jail. He had that look about him.
Hardened, jaded, but so handsome—so damn sexy. His tight jaw looked like he’d
just shaved. And his dark hair was cropped close to his head. If he hadn’t
been in jail, she would’ve sworn he’d just stripped out of fatigues.
Crap,
she felt like she had two hot pokers sticking in her butt cheeks. Please
don’t jiggle. Please don’t jiggle. If she’d learned anything in this
business, there were guys out there who went for curvy girls. Even some of
the guys built like Sean admired a fuller figurer. Yep, desire came in all
sizes and shapes. Sean would have to be filed away in her brain under the
naughty fantasy tab.
She
glanced back again. The chocolate brown irises behind her lifted. He was
checking out my butt! The thought made her brain almost forget that the
slight flirtation couldn’t go any further. Not only because he was a
potential employee… The other reason made her stomach sink and her hands
shake. What if Justin found her again? The thought was unbearable.
“Um,
if you go through there, Ron will take you through the warehouse and explain
the process of how we film and get a scene ready. We have several sets and
even do a lot of work outside the studio. Carl, he’s one of our cameramen, is
a retired marine, and we use his cabin for some of the shoots. Janice, she
does costumes, we use her apartment, and Ron’s boyfriend has a gorgeous house
with a bathroom the size of Atlanta. A lot of people request bathroom
scenes.”
She
was impressed. He wasn’t rattled when she’d mentioned Ron’s boyfriend. Had
Ron already told Sean he was gay?
“Okay.”
Abigail
stepped closer. The scent of something woodsy and spicy wafted over her,
making her knees weaken. “I thought you’d be taller.”
He
blessed her with a wicked smile. “Yeah? Am I too short for the job?”
She
rose up on her tiptoes. He was still taller than her. But then again,
everybody was. “Not at all. I guess those fighters on that TV show aren’t
very tall either.”
The
smile on his face melted. Had she said something wrong?
“By
those fighters I assume you mean the mixed martial arts fighters?”
Her
tiptoes deflated. “Um, yeah, I guessed that’s what you meant by illegal
fighting. Wasn’t that type of fighting illegal at one time? My brother’s
obsessed with those pay-per-views. I think he said it was banned in some
countries or something.”
“Some
forms of it still are.” His stern tone made her feel off balance; everything
about the guy was sending her senses into overdrive. She was surprised she
didn’t fall right over. She stepped back.
“Is…is
that the type of fighting you did?” Justin’s fighting was illegal too. No one
but her knew about it, but he fought with her constantly. He’d pick fights
about the new drapes she’d ordered or what she’d made for dinner, any excuse
to lay a hand on her.
Sean
folded his thick arms over his even thicker chest. “Yes.”
Illegal
fighting, drop subject. Bury it, under a rock, under a pyramid. Got it.
She spun around. “Ron’s right through there.”
Ron
stepped through the open door. “Hey, man, you ready to see how this circus
works?”
Her
belly did a funny flip-flop when Sean stopped at the doorway and looked back
at her. “I think so.”
She
watched Sean follow Ron into the main studio, telling herself it wasn’t
because his ass looked tight and high in those black slacks. And he did fit the
profile perfectly. The order specifically stated, “Guy like in Marky Mark
underwear ad only with big tattoo all over arm.” Sean fit that bill and more.
His handsome face was blessed with a dangerously sexy smile. Not that he’d
let her see it all that much. It was a plus that he didn’t act like an ass.
Usually, men who looked like he did were conceited jerks. Anyway, he’d get a
physical and lab work done. Then after all the formalities, she could hire
the sexy fighter.
The
final test would be the real deciding factor. Please, dear God, be able to
pass the final test. I can’t wait to see him try. Abigail went to grab a
cup of coffee and wait impatiently in the blue room.
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